Landslide
by A Phrase That Cuts These Lips
Summary: Part of the Hurricane 'verse. So maybe neither of them knows what they're doing half the time. Sometimes they tiptoe around each other because they don't know how to act, other times it's as easy as breathing. It's just like any other relationship, really. A series of drabbles varying in length and rating, as a follow up to Hurricane.
1. one

******A/N: Be sure to read Hurricane if you haven't already, because if you don't this fic will make exactly zero sense!**

Hey everyone! Feels great to be posting again. So as you may know,this will be a whole bunch of drabbles expanding on my previous WIP, "Hurricane". I can't promise consistent updates but I do have plenty of ideas (and I'm always open to prompts!) so I should be able to keep you entertained for a little while :) I hope you like it, thanks for reading!

Rating for this chapter: R.

* * *

They don't expect it to be easy. After all these years, this is by far the strangest version of their relationship in which they've ever been. Kurt still doesn't even know what they _are - _they live together, they raise Amelia together, they go on dates and they fuck and they're so in love Kurt doesn't even know what to do with it sometimes. But they don't say _boyfriend_ or _lover _or _partner. _None of those describes just how deeply - and complicatedly - Kurt feels.

Not that it matters, when it comes down to it. They say _I love you _every day and mean it with all their hearts, and that's all that counts. Kurt has never liked labels, anyway.

So neither of them knows what they're doing half the time. Sometimes they tiptoe around each other because they don't know how to act, other times it's as easy as breathing. There are days when Blaine is more like a best friend than he is a boyfriend or whatever the fuck they are, and that's good, too. It's familiar, because that, at least, is how it's always been.

Like any other relationship, really.

Yes, there are moments when the open-endedness of this relationship scares Kurt. He likes to be one step ahead, to plan and prepare for every event. He needs control. But this is Blaine, who has been turning his life upside down every day for almost thirteen years now, changing him in ways both insignificant and mind-blowing, and changing along with him. Even when Kurt gets scared that it'll go wrong again, even when Blaine retreats back into himself where only Kurt can reach in and pull him back into the light, at least they're doing it together.

The beginning is rocky - not to say it all goes downhill immediately. They have their little honeymoon period, and it's sexy and fun and wonderful, and their little family is so _happy _that Kurt can hardly believe it's actually his life_. _But it's obvious things won't ever be simple. They've hurt each other too much for that, and there's only so far forgiveness can go. But they're trying, and they made it through the worst. If they can do that, they can get through anything.

Their first real fight is over something stupid that Kurt can't even remember afterwards - Blaine forgetting to cook dinner or do the laundry, something small that turns into something huge.

"You are such a _bitch _sometimes," Blaine shouts, voice cracking. "Just get off my back for one second!"

"Stop being so fucking sensitive!" Kurt snaps back, and Blaine stares at him in stunned silence for a moment before he scoffs, that sharp little laugh that means he's really angry, and turns away, slamming the door behind him on the way out.

He lets Blaine go, doesn't even want to look at Blaine right now. "Asshole," he mutters, scowling down at the half-cooked dinner he was trying to prepare before they got into a shouting match. He leaves it alone, too sick to eat. "Why do I even bother?"

But the minutes pass and Blaine doesn't come back in to apologize, and only then does Kurt actually think about what he'd said. _Oh. _His heart plummets. _I'm the one who fucked up this time. _Kurt was the one feeling stressed and bitchy, after a day of dealing with his useless co-workers and an unruly daughter who Blaine, for once, didn't have the patience to deal with so it all fell on Kurt. He was the one picking fights. Even though Blaine was being an asshole, Kurt could have walked away any time.

Blaine has fucked up so many times that Kurt just sort of assumes that he's in the wrong, but that's not always the case. It leaves Kurt with shame twisting in his gut and mostly he wants to call Blaine, wherever he went, and beg him to come back, but Blaine's phone is sitting on the countertop, taunting him.

What if he doesn't come back? What if Kurt screwed up too much and Blaine decides it isn't worth it and…

It takes half an hour for Kurt to stop being hurt. He knows this because that's what the clock reads when a tentative knock sounds on the door, snapping him out of his pity-party.

"Kurt?" Blaine calls from outside, sounding timid.

Kurt swallows, his throat still sore from shouting. He hadn't cried, but he had felt like it. "Yes?" He answers, voice wobbly in a way he hates to hear. He's just glad that Amelia is already in bed - she's sick with a stomach bug going around, part of the reason she'd been so hard to deal with all day - so that he doesn't have to answer her questions about what's happening.

"Um. I forgot my keys."

He can't help but smile, and he doesn't really know why - it's just so _Blaine. _He stands up and walks to the door. Blaine is disheveled, red-eyed, and embarrassed, but Kurt doesn't care. He's _back, _he didn't leave, so now Kurt can stop being afraid.

"Hi." He says shakily.

"Hi." Blaine looks down at the floor, scuffing the toe of his shoe on the doorstop. He bites his lip. "Um. I'm sorry."

Kurt throws his arms around Blaine's neck, making him stumble back a step before he steadies himself and returns the hug with just as much gusto. They sway in place, and Blaine tucks his face into Kurt's shoulder, fists clenching and unclenching in the fabric of Kurt's shirt. He's here and he's okay and he didn't leave, god, Kurt didn't even realize how scared he was until Blaine was gone. "I'm sorry," Blaine repeats hoarsely.

"It's okay, it's okay."

"It's not, I was being such a _dick _-"

"I know you were; so was I." Kurt shuts his eyes. "I'm sorry, too."

Blaine nods, lifting his head to look into Kurt's eyes. "I've just had the worst day; it's been a while since it was that bad. But I still shouldn't have yelled, it wasn't your fault."

"It _was, _though, and you were right, I _was_ being a bitch. You weren't being too sensitive, I was just being mean. I…" Kurt bites his lip. "For a second there, I thought you were leaving." He whispers. He doesn't mean to say it, hates sounding so vulnerable, but then, it's Blaine. If there's anyone who can see him like this, it's Blaine.

Blaine's chin quivers, lips pursed tight. He doesn't cry, and Kurt's glad for that in a way that unsettles him; not only because he doesn't want Blaine to be sad but also because he doesn't want to _see _it. He's overwhelmed by the high-strung emotions of tonight as it is. In the grand scope of things, this fight is so insignificant, but he still hates it. "I wouldn't. I wouldn't just _leave, _god, how could I - I just needed to cool off, before I said anything I really regretted. I'm sorry."

He doesn't _want _Blaine to be sorry, though, not really. He cups Blaine's cheek in the palm of his hand, letting out a sigh when Blaine turns his head and presses a kiss to it. "I don't want to fight with you. I fucking hate it." More than that, it scares him - but that's good, in a way. It reminds him that this could be over in a second, and it could be his fault this time. It reminds him that he can break Blaine too, if he pushes too hard, and he's still not sure what Blaine's limit is.

Kurt doesn't suggest that they never fight again - he's not naïve anymore. Everyone fights, and even before everything went wrong, when their relationship was simpler, they had still fought. But he can't, honestly can't, think about things getting so bad that one of them leaves again. It's not an option; he doesn't think he could bear it, not again, not this time. It would be like ripping away a piece of him - the patches on his heart are only that, patches, and the stitches that keep him together can be torn away again so easily.

Blaine kisses him, soft and almost chaste, and Kurt lets himself melt into it, full-body relief. They're okay. They got through this one unscathed and they're going to be okay; no matter how bumpy the road gets it will never as insane as it used to be. "I love you," he says against Blaine's lips - and that, that right there is why he bothers, even when it's hard. That's why it's worth it. They might be making this up as they go along, but that doesn't make it any less important.

"I love you too." Blaine kisses at Kurt's neck, nose nuzzling at the skin there still cold from being outside, and Kurt shuts his eyes and thinks _if you really left me I think I would die, there's too little of me left to take you away again, everything I am is yours. _Blaine is all of him now, every inch of his messily patched heart. Blaine is his and he is Blaine's, and losing that again? It might kill him.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having such a bad day? I could have done something about it." Kurt says, making Blaine look back up at him.

Blaine pulls away a little, but he doesn't step out of Kurt's embrace. The door is shut behind him and the night air is a just chilly enough to raise goose bumps, but Blaine's arms are warm around him. "I didn't want to bother you. It's spring, you have your fashion week thing coming up, you're always so _busy _in the spring and I didn't want…"

"_Blaine_."

He looks away. "I should be over it. I just hate that you still have to put up with me."

"I'm _not. _I'm not _putting up _with anything, okay?" He strokes his thumb down Blaine's neck and feels his pulse jump. "I'm with you because I want to be. And your problems are obviously not something you can just turn on and off. So I want you to tell me when you have a bad day, so that I can help, okay?" He doesn't think that's so unreasonable. They're in this together, so it's something they both have to deal with.

"I'll try." Blaine closes his eyes. "I just… I wish I knew how to make this easier."

"We always knew it wouldn't be. But we'll figure it out, we always do."

"I wouldn't leave, you know? Never. You don't have to worry about that."

"Good." He gives Blaine a quick kiss, then leans back again and adds with a smirk, "But you're still the most infuriating man on the entire planet."

That gets a laugh out of Blaine (much to Kurt's relief, if can be hard to tell if Blaine will find something funny or not from one day to the next), muffled into the crook of Kurt's neck. "And _you're _the most stubborn." Blaine's fingers trail up and down Kurt's spine, making Kurt sigh and arch his back to press closer, chest to chest, hips to hips. "But you love me." Blaine says, awed, like he's still not convinced that he really gets to have this. Well, Kurt is okay with spending extra time convincing him.

"Of course I love you." Because sometimes Blaine needs reminding. He steps back and grabs Blaine's hand, grinning as he pulls Blaine through the door and into the apartment. "Now let's kiss and make up."

Sometimes fighting is worth it because the making up is just so good.


	2. two

**Summary: **Kurt Hummel-Anderson's life is not a fairy tale.  
**Rating for this chapter**: M for mild sex.

* * *

"We should go to Vegas!"

Kurt snorts out a laugh. "Excuse me?" He raises his eyebrows, looking up from the latest issue of _Vogue _that he had been reading. He's stretched out on the couch with his legs draped over Blaine's lap, the TV playing softly in the background but mostly left ignored. They're lucky enough to have a few hours to themselves most evenings, after putting Amelia to bed, when they can just _be _together. It never gets old for Blaine, getting to be with Kurt, no matter what they're doing.

"Come on, we deserve a vacation!" Blaine puts on what he thinks is his most adorable grin. Not that he thinks it'll get him anywhere, but he can hope. "Vegas would be fun."

"And _so_ family friendly." He lifts the magazine back up, hiding his face.

"Kurrrrt."

"I'm not going to Vegas! That's a terrible idea!"

"It's an _awesome _idea."

"It's a 'Blaine-has-had-way-too-much-caffeine-tonight' idea."

"We can complain about how tacky everything is. That's your favorite thing to do."

"_Blaine!_" Kurt laughs, letting the magazine fall again.

"And we could have one of those weddings with an Elvis impersonator doing the ceremony!"

"Oh my _god, no!" _Kurt hides his face in Blaine's shoulder, shaking with laughter.

"You're no fun." Blaine gives an exaggerated pout, and Kurt lifts his head.

"Mmhm, that's me. No fun at all." He leans forward, kissing Blaine's bottom lip until the pout melts into a smile, and then they separate with a wet little noise that makes Blaine want to chase him. Kurt grins as he sits back, tilting his head to look at Blaine. "I love it when you're like this," he murmurs, brushing a shower-damp curl out of Blaine's face.

Blaine hums, leaning in to kiss Kurt again. He has to agree. He loves feeling like this, too, is stupidly proud of it. Like he's made it through, like everything's going to keep being okay. Like he really believes all that. The TV remains forgotten in the background, the magazine laying open on Kurt's lap, the most beautiful man in the world in his arms, and Blaine is absurdly happy tonight.

They sit there for a while, drinking in the early night-time silence, until Blaine starts to ramble, as sudden happiness often makes him do. "We could totally get married though. We wouldn't have to go to Vegas."

If Kurt heard he doesn't respond. Blaine feels him tense, though, when before he had been all loose and relaxed.

"I mean, obviously," Blaine goes on, laughing nervously. "Because we live in New York. Duh."

"Uh-huh," Kurt says noncommittally. He sits up and moves away, while Blaine keeps babbling like an idiot and wonders why he bothers talking at all.

"We can make it even tackier than a Vegas wedding - I'm sure there's an Elvis impersonator somewhere in New York - what are you doing down there?" He blinks down at Kurt, who kneels on the floor between Blaine's knees - which spread to accommodate him on instinct - and pulls his boxers down just below his ass. Blaine glances back toward the hallway and Amelia's room - funny how they spent their teenage lives sneaking behind their parent's backs, but now that they're parents themselves they have to hide from their own kid. "Kurt?"

Kurt shoots Blaine a smile that doesn't quite make it to his eyes, and Blaine wants to figure out why but then Kurt's hand is wrapped around him, and there's not enough blood in his head anymore to think of anything but that. Kurt ducks down to kiss the inside of Blaine's thigh and the base of his hardening cock, eyes dark when he looks back up. Blaine fights back a whimper.

"Can't talk, I'm busy," Kurt purrs, and then he ducks his head and takes Blaine into his mouth in one go, hot wet heat so sudden it makes Blaine's hips jerk forward but Kurt takes it in stride, swallowing around him, and yeah, any thoughts of talking fly right out of his head. Whatever they were talking about must not have been important, anyway.

Only later, when Kurt is asleep in his arms, does Blaine really think about what he had said before spontaneous blowjobs happened. The whole marriage thing. It hadn't been a serious proposal by any means - he doesn't _really_ want to get married in Vegas (although he did once go through a phase where he wanted to be an Elvis impersonator.)

But he can't deny the twinge of longing when he thinks about it. He _misses_ being married, being a husband. True, he hadn't been very good at it, but that was a long time ago. He's sure he could set things right this time. He could do right by Kurt and Amelia, be a husband and a father instead of the toxic waste he was. Like he always should have done.

That is, if Kurt wants to give him a chance. He'll just have to work extra hard to convince him.

Kurt turns in his arms and nestles close, smiling in his sleep. He looks younger, like this, worry-lines smoothed away. Blaine kisses his forehead and closes his eyes, snuggling closer to his boyfriend/partner/whatever, hoping that maybe he can trade all those not-quite-right titles in for _fiancée _sooner rather than later.

* * *

"So I think Blaine wants us to get married."

"WHAT?!"

Kurt winces, holding the phone away from his ear while Rachel shrieks. "Rachel! Volume control! I don't think the entire café heard you yet!" One sour-faced old lady looks at him from her table a few feet away, and he shoots her a tight smile.

"Sorry, sorry, just - wow! That's so exciting! So he proposed? How did he do it? Was it romantic?"

"Ah, not in so many words, no. He mentioned it, though. Not sure how serious he was." _Please don't be serious,_ Kurt pleads silently. He knows he's being stupid, but he can't help it. He steps up to the counter and takes his coffee, sitting at one of the few empty tables in the crowded coffee shop. Blaine is supposed to meet him here in a little bit for lunch, but Kurt just needed a moment to talk to someone about… all of this. Before it drives him insane.

"Well, what did you say?"

"…I gave him a blowjob." The old lady looks up again and he grits his teeth and forces himself not to flip her off. At least Rachel isn't here to see him blush like an innocent schoolboy. Pathetic. But not as pathetic as distracting your boyfriend from pseudo-proposing with a blowjob. "And then we continued not to talk about it."

"…Oh." Rachel says delicately. Kurt sighs and slumps back in the hard-backed chair, peering around the coffee shop to make sure Blaine hasn't arrived yet. This isn't a conversation he wants Blaine walking in on. "So this _isn't _a good thing."

"No. Yes? I don't even know." Kurt groans. "I just wanted him to shut up about it. I completely freaked out and he wasn't even proposing for real! And I really don't know what I'm going to do if he actually proposes, Rachel."

"I don't get it! You used to have entire scrapbooks full of wedding plans. It was all you ever talked about! Happily-ever-after, marrying your Prince Charming and all of that."

"Well, I grew up," Kurt says, not without bitterness. Whether he and Blaine are together forever or not, no matter how happy they are, his life is not and never will be a fairy tale. He's accepted that. Or he thought he had, until the idea was dangled in front of his face again. Damn Blaine.

"It's obvious you're crazy about each other, though. Every time I come over you guys are attached at the hip, it would be gross if you weren't so cute."

"I know, I know! I don't know what's wrong with me." He refrains from smacking his head on the table. "I'm such a jerk."

"Oh, sweetie, you are not!"

"Why can't I just trust him? Every time I think I'm there, something happens to freak me out and - god, I love him so much, I do, he's _everything _to me so why am I still scared?"

"Because he's everything to you."

Kurt feels sniffley, but he doesn't let himself get too weepy or Blaine will fret when he gets here and Kurt won't be able to explain what he's upset about. "Yeah."

"Don't feel bad because you might not be ready to get married, okay? You haven't been together _that _long. You know Blaine, he won't be mad."

"I don't even know if I'm not ready."

"Well then, _if _he proposes, talk to him about it! Work it out and decide what you want to do together. It doesn't have to be a big deal."

Kurt huffs. He _knows _all that, of course, but he can't seem to stop being _stupid _long enough to think it through. "When did you become the reasonable one?"

"I like to think we alternate roles."

"Wouldn't want it to get boring."

The bell _dings _as the door opens, and Blaine steps into the coffee shop, hair an artful slicked-back tousle, jeans clinging to his legs just so. For a second Kurt worries that he's having heart failure, but no, it's just the way Blaine makes him feel. They see each other every single day but he still makes Kurt feel like a teenager again all the time. Blaine meets his eyes and grins in that way that Kurt treasures because for a time he thought he would never see it again, and Kurt finds himself smiling back and waving, despite his the anxiety clawing at him. "I have to go, Blaine's here. But thanks for listening to me whine."

"Anytime. Love you!"

Blaine sits down across from him, cup of coffee steaming in his hand, already in the middle of some story about his day, and Kurt watches him with a soft smile on his face. He would have thought being around Blaine would make him panic about the whole marriage thing even more, but it's the other way around. It's only when he's alone with his own thoughts that he gets freaked out.

Even if he's not sure about much, at least he knows he wants Blaine.

* * *

"Remember how awesome married sex was?" Blaine says happily. Kurt's fingers drive deeper inside of him all at once when before he had been taking his sweet, slow time, making Blaine jolt. It's kind of awesome, though, and he arches his back to press closer to Kurt's touch.

"Married sex is exactly the same as not-married sex, Blaine," Kurt says as if he's talking to particularly ridiculous child.

"No it's not," Blaine insists, and yeah, this is a stupid way to bring it up, but sex makes him kind of stupid. Sex with _Kurt _renders every brain cell useless because there's no one, _no one _in the world better at it than him. They're sex-experts by now. "It's awesomer."

"Sure it is."

Blaine twists his head at a weird angle to look at Kurt, who is intensely focused on fingering Blaine the way he focuses on everything he does. He doesn't manage to make eye contact. "Bet I could prove it if you married me."

Okay, so it's by far the worst proposal ever, and Blaine kind of wishes he could fall in a hole and die now. But if it doesn't work he'll just pretend he was kidding. It usually works.

"I would _love _to talk about this some more, dear," Kurt says, in a way that means he really doesn't want to talk about it at all, and that makes Blaine's heart sink. He crooks his fingers and finds that perfect spot and Blaine presses his face into the pillow to muffle his groans as little fissures of pleasure run up his spine. "But I'm a little busy."

"Too busy to talk?" He manages to gasp. "You aren't even using your mouth - oh shit oh shit oh _fuck Kurt…_"

"That's better," Kurt mutters before he gets back to it, and with that he's successfully destroyed the part of Blaine's brain that makes him capable of speech.

Score one for Kurt, he supposes.

* * *

He likes to watch Kurt go through his nightly skincare routine (Blaine's is always finished long before Kurt's is), for some reason. Blaine always goes to bed with a book to read – even sleeping next to Kurt isn't always enough to get him through his insomnia - but more often than not, it ends up forgotten beside him as he watches Kurt sit at his mother's old vanity table with paint chipping off its legs because Kurt refuses to do anything to restore it, rubbing cream after cream into his skin to keep it young and soft no matter how much Blaine insists that his skin is perfect. ("Yes, and it will remain perfect as long as I keep doing this.") They don't really talk much, but it's another way to spend time together.

But neither of them has brought up what Blaine said just an hour ago, and it's making him fidgety. Twice now Blaine has brought up the topic of marriage, and both times Kurt had cut him off. There's something wrong with that.

"You can't keep distracting me with sex forever, you know," he says.

Kurt meets his eyes in the mirror, raising one eyebrow. "Is that a challenge? Because I'd be happy to try but I _just_ showered."

"You're not taking me seriously."

"Say something serious and maybe I will."

Blaine sighs, sitting up. "I just think we should talk about it, that's all."

"About what?"

"Getting married."

Kurt lets out a long sigh, setting down the bottle of lotion down on the table. "Blaine."

"It would make sense, wouldn't it? We know we want to stay together, so there's no reason not to, and it would make legal stuff with Amelia so much easier and -"

"_Blaine._" Kurt finally spins around to face him. "What are you doing?"

He bites his lip and looks down at his lap, embarrassed and not really knowing why. "I just thought..."

"You don't have to prove anything to me, you know? Signing a piece of paper isn't going to make me feel any differently about you. I love you too much for that."

"That's not…" Blaine trails off. He doesn't know how to explain what he wants, or why he wants it, but that's not it at all. He's not trying to prove anything. And here he'd thought he'd gotten better at talking about his feelings.

"Now, get that look off your face."

"I don't have a look."

"Yes you do." Kurt stands up and crosses the room, sitting next to Blaine on the bed. "It's an 'I'm-feeling-sorry-for-myself' look. Which leads to a depressed look. And you've been doing really well lately and I'm _very _proud of you, so let's try to avoid that. Anything bothering you?"

Blaine shakes his head and doesn't say, _only the fact that you won't talk to me about something so important._

"I don't believe you. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Do you regret getting married?" He asks softly, before he can lose his nerve.

Kurt bites his lip, actually thinking about it, which Blaine didn't expect but is honestly grateful for. He loves that Kurt can always tell when he needs to be taken seriously.

"No," he says slowly. "No, of course I don't. I regret a lot of the things that we let happen. And not trying harder to make it work. But I don't regret _anything _about you because all of it brought us here, right?" Kurt touches his cheek, thumb stroking over Blaine's cheekbone and he leans into the touch.

"But you don't even want to talk about it," he says after a moment.

"Four months, Blaine."

Right. Sometimes Blaine forgets how they'd spent so much time apart. When he's spent so much time with Kurt four months really isn't _anything, _in the long run. They're still figuring this out.

That doesn't stop him from wanting, but.

"Okay," he says quietly. He'll keep his mouth shut for now, and figure out a more… eloquent way to ask next time, at the _right _time. He'll do it right, and maybe by then, Kurt will be ready to talk about it.

"Thank you." Kurt leans in to kiss him on the cheek, and Blaine can't help but smile. "Love you."

"Love you, too," Blaine echoes, smile widening. He's not counting this as a rejection, not really, because it wasn't really a proposal. He'll do it right next time and if Kurt still says so – he won't – then… well, that will be that.

He can add that to the list of things he's proud of – even when things don't go quite right, he doesn't let that knock him down.

* * *

He expects Amelia to give away the surprise immediately, but when Kurt asks them why they got home later than usual Amelia gives Blaine no time to stumble over an explanation. "We got ice cream!" She says cheerfully, and doesn't mention anything about the ring in Blaine's pocket.

"Your papa sure does spoil you." Kurt bends down to kiss her, and then back up to kiss Blaine – Amelia groans "_Daddy, gross!" _but they pay her no mind. "I'm going to shower before we start dinner, okay?"

"No problem." Blaine offers him a smile, watching Kurt's back as he retreats down the hall, and as soon as the bathroom door closes behind him Amelia whispers, "Let me see it again!"

"Okay, okay," Blaine laughs. She bounces up and down in excitement as he pulls out the little blue velvet box and opens it up, and Amelia gasps, even though she just saw it not ten minutes ago.

"Oh, he's going to _love _it, Papa," she sighs happily, clapping her hands.

"I hope so." He shuts the box with a soft _snap _and tucks it back into his pocket, already brainstorming for a place to hide it.

"He is." Amelia says firmly, like her word is law. "'Cause the diamonds –"

"Sapphires, sweetie."

She frowns, fumbling over the word. "The pretty rocks are blue like Daddy's eyes, so he'll love it. And then you'll get married and we'll all live happily-ever-after, right?"

Blaine just smiles. It might be a lot to hope for, but he's starting to think that he might be able to believe in happily-ever-afters again.

* * *

He finds the ring in Blaine's underwear drawer, which is a stupid place to put it, but Blaine isn't always smart, Kurt supposes. More accurately he finds the box, but there's nothing else it could hold, really.

Kurt stares at it for at least five minutes, basket of clean laundry still balanced on his hip. It's small and covered in soft blue velveteen, so simple and so lovely itself that what's inside must be beautiful. His fingers itch to touch it.

And it's for him, if he wants it. He could look right now, and put it on, and Blaine would come home and find him wearing it and know what that meant. Tears would probably be shed. It would ruin whatever Blaine probably has planned – he doesn't try to think about what that might be, Blaine never fails to take Kurt by surprise – but that would be okay, in the end. Nothing they do really goes as planned, anyway.

Or he could run, and pretend he never saw it.

He closes his eyes and takes a long, deep breath before he starts putting the laundry away, covering up the little box with clean underwear without looking at it a moment longer. He honestly doesn't know what he would do if he opened the box, and the not knowing is… terrifying.

He shoves the drawer closed, wondering when he started being so unsure of what he wants.

When he sees Blaine later that day, sees the beautiful face that he's so, so painfully in love with, he nearly mentions the box at least three times, but his mind is a whirl of _yes yes yes no no no I don't know what to do._ He never says a word.

_My life is not a fairy-tale, _Kurt tells himself, again and again.

* * *

Two months later they're in Lima for the first time in years. Rachel tries to get the old New Directions together at least once a year during her yearly visit to see her dads - it doesn't always work out, time and distance and the cost of travel interfering, but at least they try, and Rachel is still determined to keep her resolution of being their best friend for the rest of their lives. Kurt hasn't gone for a while - no money to spare, Amelia too little to travel, not being able to bear talking about Blaine and the breakup and how everything had fallen apart. It was safer to stay away, in those days.

But they have the money to go right now, so Kurt brings it up one night after Rachel gives him the date and time to be there, if he can make it. Blaine's nervous about seeing everyone – they're still protective of Kurt, when they remember to be - but no one but Rachel and Santana really know what their lives have been like in recent years other than secondhand gossip, so there's little chance of awkward interrogations from their old friends. It feels like the right time to reconnect, and it'll be nice to see Burt and Carole, and give Amelia time to visit her grandparents (and, let's be honest, let them spoil her to death.)

"Fine," Blaine says, "but couldn't we have the reunion in _Vegas?_" He waggles his eyebrows, and sends Kurt into a laughing fit that lasts at least five minutes.

It's no less bizarre sitting in the Berry's basement with his high-school friends now than it always was. The parties are less 'oh my god we're all together again, let's get trashed' than they used to be, and more 'oh my god we're all together again, let's sit around and talk about the good old days.' Most of them managed to make it – Mike and Tina, her belly swollen huge with their first pregnancy, unable to keep the proud grins off their faces as the rest of the girls coo over her. Finn is there, always is – he's the closest, only a short drive away in Columbus – and though he's got this cute redhead Kurt has yet to meet on his arm, he and Rachel have been awkwardly maintaining eye contact since Kurt and Blaine arrived. Kurt knows well enough not to touch that one with a ten foot pole. Puck keeps showing everyone hundreds of photos of his kids, and _really _wants to set them up on a play date with Amelia, never mind that they live on the other side of the country. Even Santana is there, to everyone's surprise, and she's been sitting in the corner quietly talking to Brittany most of the night. Again, ten foot pole, but he hopes things are going well.

No sign of Quinn, but everyone had mostly given up on seeing her again, anywhere but on Facebook. Kurt doesn't blame her for vanishing, really – he understands wanting to be as distant from Lima, Ohio as possible, and the worst times of her life happened here, after all. But he still wonders what she's up to, sometimes. Artie couldn't make it, and Mercedes and Sam only for a few hours on the way to some other event, but at least they get a chance to catch up with them.

It's strange and wonderful to see how they've all changed or haven't, the paths their lives have taken them down. Every time Kurt is around these people, he's overwhelmingly happy and full of nostalgia and melancholy all at once. It's a giant family reunion at its best.

Blaine sticks close to him all night, spending most of their time on the couch in the corner of the basement with their hands clasped between them. It's not that they don't want to socialize – there's almost always someone perched on the arm of the loveseat, chatting away – but when they are left alone they're content with their private, quiet space, watching their friends laugh and joke and dance and get progressively drunker as the night goes on. Blaine's thumb keeps stroking Kurt's ring finger, and when Kurt notices he just smiles and snuggles up close with a quick peck on the cheek.

There's drinking in abundance, and Kurt can't help but be nervous, casting glances at Blaine every few minutes even when they're not next to each other. But Blaine doesn't stare longingly at the drinks Puck and Santana mix for everyone, or sneak away to get one. When Puck offers Blaine a tall glass of rum and Coke, he bites his lip and takes a deep breath before he smiles politely. "Nah, I'm on some medication that doesn't mix well with it, and I'm driving tonight. Thanks, though."

"Suit yourself," Puck shrugs, and takes the drink to Finn instead.

"What?" Blaine asks when he catches Kurt staring at him.

"Just, you…" Unable to find the right words, he gestures toward the makeshift bar Puck set up. "You don't want any?"

Blaine shrugs. Like it's no big deal. Kurt knows that's not the case, but _still. _"Well, yeah. I'm always going to _want _it, I think, but it's not… like it was. I don't feel like I'm going to fall apart if I don't get a drink. I don't think I even crave it most of the time, really. Sure, I _miss _it, the way it made me feel, but…" _Miserable? Suicidal?_ Kurt thinks, but he doesn't say it. He can't pretend to understand. Blaine shrugs again, looking proud and sheepish at the same time. "I don't need it anymore."

Kurt has to kiss him, just _has _to, and he almost misses and mostly catches the corner of Blaine's mouth, and Blaine's makes a surprised noise into Kurt's mouth. But once they're on the same page it's perfect, and Kurt nearly loses himself in the kiss – because kissing Blaine still isn't old, Kurt's pretty sure it's still the most intense thing they can do no matter how much sex they've had over the years. Then Santana plops down on Blaine's lap and forces them apart, groaning, "_Please _dear god distract me from Berry's pantsuit, what is she thinking?"

She's glaring at Brittany, looking lost in the far corner of the room, not Rachel. Not so great, then, poor things. Neither of them mentions it. It's obvious from the way she curls around Blaine and drapes her long legs over Kurt's lap that she needs comfort but would rather not talk, anyway.

Kurt settles for nuzzling at the hinge of Blaine's jaw, murmuring, "I'm _so _proud of you." It's an understatement, words can't even _describe; _he feels a little choked up just thinking about it. And Blaine did this part on his own, that's the most amazing part – Kurt kept him away from the alcohol, but while starting on the road to getting over his depression had taken long hours of talking, he had dealt with the addiction in silence and gotten past it by himself.

There are still days when Blaine can barely get out of bed it the morning. Nights when Kurt wakes in the middle of the night to the sound of Blaine crying into his pillow, trying so hard to stay quiet, and Kurt has no idea why or what to do except hold him tight. There are times when Kurt feels so helpless that for half a second he almost wants to give up – he never will, but deep down where he'll never admit it, yeah, he thinks about it. He knows there will be days like that for the rest of their lives, and he's slowly managing to come to terms with that.

But then there are days like today. Days when he realizes that Blaine has taken a gigantic leap forward when Kurt wasn't watching; when he's finally _himself again. _And those are the days Kurt lives for.

The party starts to lull, the music going quieter. Blaine lifts his head from where it had been laying on Kurt's shoulder and noses at the space behind his ear, murmuring, "I need to ask you something."

"Sure," Kurt says, fighting back a yawn. Sitting here with warm bodies draped over him for so long has made him all sleepy. "What is it?"

Instead of answering Blaine smiles shyly, nudging Santana until she grudgingly lets him up, muttering something about getting another drink. Kurt watches with an eyebrow raised as Blaine stands up, shifting from foot to foot nervously, still holding onto Kurt's hand.

"Kurt," Blaine begins, and then pauses, biting his lip. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Kurt says. "Are you okay?"

"I think so." Blaine takes a deep breath. "I don't have, like, a speech prepared or anything, but - you're the love of my life, I know it, and there's never going to be anyone else for me. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Which is why…"

When Blaine drops to one knee, Kurt stops breathing.

"Kurt Hummel…"

"Oh my god," Kurt whispers. Somewhere in the background Rachel shrieks in delight, and Santana says matter-of-factly, "Well holy-fuckin'-shit." Kurt barely registers it, or much of what Blaine says either, and he shouldn't be in shock but he _is. _He doesn't know what to do and Blaine is still looking at him with those giant Disney-prince eyes and pulling something out of his pocket, and Kurt just might pass out.

_This isn't happening, _he thinks, no matter how much time he's had to come to terms with it. _I'm not ready to think about this._

Blaine opens the little blue box in his hand, the same one that Kurt found two months ago. The ring reflects the fairy lights that illuminate the basement and the tiny sapphires in it twinkle beautifully. "Kurt," he says, voice choked with emotion, "Will you marry me?"

Around them their friends are cheering and encouraging them ("Wait, they aren't already married?" Puck says) but Kurt can't hear anything but his own heart pounding in his ears, or feel anything but Blaine's sweaty palm holding his hand. Seconds pass and still he can't say a word, frozen like a statue.

"Kurt?"

"I need a moment," Kurt whispers, barely able to make his lips move. He looks away before he can see the crestfallen look on Blaine's face.

"Kurt –"

"I just need a moment," Kurt repeats, louder this time, tugging his hand out of Blaine's and standing up. He's out of the basement before he realizes it, his feet carrying him on autopilot up the stairs. He only realizes where he's going when he gets to Rachel's old bedroom.

It's the same as it always has been, garishly colored and every surface covered in gold stars, but he's spent so much time in here that it's a comfort. He shuts the door behind him and sinks down onto the bed, hands trembling so much he has to fist them in the sheets to make them stop.

There's no reason to panic this much, but he can't seem to help it – he just doesn't know what to _do._ He should want this more than anything. In some ways he does. So why can't he just say yes and be done with it?

Fuck. And he'd just _left _Blaine there to wonder what he had done wrong. Yet another way Kurt has screwed this up. Before he can judge whether he's able to go back or not, a knock sounds on the door, and he knows who it is. Kurt takes a deep breath, trying to ground himself – there's no point in being hysterical even when he feels like it, it will only freak Blaine out and he doesn't want to ruin everything more than he already has. "Yeah?" He calls out, voice cracking.

"Can I come in?" Blaine's voice is as wobbly as Kurt feels.

"Please."

Blaine hesitates a moment before he steps inside, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. His _face – _he looks so worried and ashamed and _scared, _and Kurt hates it, can't stand that that look is because of him. "I'm sorry," Blaine blurts out, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean – I just thought –"

Sorry; why is _Blaine _sorry? It's all Kurt's fault. He tries to interrupt but his voice is too soft, and Blaine doesn't hear, hands flailing as he fumbles through a misguided apology.

"I just thought maybe I needed to be more romantic, you know? Do it properly. I – I didn't realize it would upset you do much, we don't have to get married if you don't want to, it's okay –'

"Blaine, don't," Kurt pleads, and that makes him fall silent. He stretches his arms out wide and Blaine falls into them immediately, hugging Kurt a little awkwardly from above, and just that helps Kurt to relax, a little. Blaine sits down once Kurt releases him, still looking concerned. "I'm not mad at you, okay?"

"…oh."

Kurt smiles despite himself. "I just needed a minute alone."

"I can go –"

"Please don't." Kurt closes his eyes, laying his head down on Blaine's shoulder for a moment. "I shouldn't have reacted like… that."

Blaine shakes his head. "I had no idea it was such a big deal. I mean, of course it is, that's not what I meant, I just –"

"You don't have to keep apologizing. It's okay."

"I really do." Blaine lets out a short laugh.

He's still holding the little blue box open in his hand. Kurt can't take his eyes off of it, the simple polished silver band with its scattering of tiny sapphires. "It's a beautiful ring."

"Amelia picked it out. She really has an eye for that kind of thing."

"Of course she does, she's _my _daughter." How can he _not _wear it knowing that? "God. You're serious about this. Marriage."

"Only if you want to," Blaine says, so _earnest. _"Only if you're ready. And I'm really sorry I kept pushing you. You said you didn't want to and I should have respected that." He looks down at his lap and mumbles, "Guess I'm still screwing this up."

Kurt kisses him without thinking about it, fierce and possessive, and Blaine gasps against his mouth. "No," he says when he pulls away, a hand on Blaine's chest when he automatically leans in for another kiss. "No, you haven't ruined _anything, _Blaine. _I'm _the one being stupid. So just – stop talking about yourself that way, I can't stand it."

Blaine nearly starts to apologize, but Kurt gives him a look that stops him before he can speak at all. He laughs sharply, glancing away. "I just want us to get our happily-ever-after, too," he says softly. "Don't we deserve it?"

Kurt absently rubs at his finger, where the engagement ring would sit perfectly. He can already imagine how it would look – gorgeous, of course. "But we don't need to do _this _to prove how committed we are. I fully consider you my soul mate, you know. That's enough for me. But I guess I should have thought about whether it's enough for you."

Blaine shakes his head. "It's not that, really. Not for me. I know we're committed; I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you if you'll have me. I just think it makes sense, you know? Legally, and financially, and I think it's probably easier to adopt a kid when you're married…" Kurt doesn't know how true that is but his heart does a full-on gymnastics routine at the very thought of adopting more babies. _Yes, please. _"It would mean so much to Amelia, and… I just want to be able to call you my husband. I loved being your husband. Waking up next to you every day and knowing that I was yours in every way I could be. And I know I screwed it up beyond belief, but… you have a pretty good track record for giving me second chances I don't deserve."

If Blaine keeps saying _husband _like that, in that breathy, longing tone, Kurt is going to have a fit. _Stop making me want this so much. _Blaine takes the ring out of the box and presses it into Kurt's palm, closing their joined hands around it. "If you want it, it's yours. I'm yours."

Kurt's throat tightens, and he has to shut his eyes for a moment, deep breath shuddering out of him. It's too much to feel all at once. "Wh-what would you wear?" His voice shakes of its own accord. "Last time we had the matching rings."

"I still have my old one. The wedding ring, too."

"You kept them?"

"Of course I did."

"Me, too." He's a little relieved – he'd always thought it was stupid of him to keep them. This new ring feels heavy in his hand, the metal cool but warming from their body head. "But I don't think I could wear it anymore."

"That's okay. But I want to wear mine, if you don't mind. If you say yes, that is."

"They won't match."

"I know. But we don't always match either."

Kurt tilts his head to the side, watching Blaine closely, studying the way his eyelashes fan over his cheeks. Like if he can just look close enough he'll figure out the puzzle that is Blaine Hummel-Anderson. "Why?" He asks quietly.

"Because…" Blaine blushes a little, and shrugs. "I don't know. Even through all that bullshit, I kept the ring. And I know it's just a piece of jewelry, in the end, but it means so much more than that to me. It means you love me, or you did once. Keeping it meant that even when we hated each other, I still belonged to you. And I like that, knowing that I've always been yours. Always will be."

"I never really hated you."

"Still."

"If, um, if you really wanted me to wear the old one I guess –"

Blaine shakes his head, gripping Kurt's hand tight. "I want you to be happy and comfortable with every aspect of our lives together, and if that means you need a fresh start symbolically too, then that's what I want."

He totally rehearsed that. It shouldn't be as endearing as it is.

Kurt opens his hand, thumb stroking over the smooth silver metal of the ring, and his brow furrows. "The thing is… everything went wrong when we got married, didn't it? And I know it wasn't _because _of that, I know it was a bad time and we were probably too young and so much of what happened wasn't our fault. I know we could have tried harder to make the things that _were _our fault better. _I _could have done so much more, I just didn't know _how." _He takes a deep breath before going on. "I know all of that, but I'm _happy _with what we have, Blaine. It's not perfect, I've given up on having perfect, but we're still happy, right? Do you understand why I'm hesitant to jinx that?"

"But that's kind of why I want to do it."

"What do you mean?"

"You gave me a second chance, Kurt. I want to do it right this time, do right by you. I want to be able to start over without the drinking and all the bullshit with Mom and Dad and Cooper weighing us down. I want it to be about _us _this time, us and Amelia, not just defying them. I want to grow old with you." He chokes on some sudden emotion, shutting his eyes, and Kurt swallows back his tears. "More than anything I want to be the husband you deserve. I don't really think that's possible, but I want to try."

_Grow old, _god, mere months ago Kurt wouldn't have thought Blaine would have the chance to grow old; with everything he put himself through Kurt was sure he would die young. If not from suicide then from drinking himself to death. The fact that Blaine can look that far ahead, and see them growing old together – that he can do more than live day-to-day -

Kurt's eyes and throat burn when he says softly, "Maybe I don't deserve _you._"

"Don't say that, you deserve _everything. _Everything you want." Blaine tries to smile. "And if what you want isn't me, that's okay too. You know that, right? I just need you to be happy."

"I want you." Kurt's voice trembles. "I want _everything _with you; don't ever think I don't want to be with you. And I don't know why I'm still so scared."

"…of me?" Blaine's voice goes very small, and he starts to draw his hands away. "If you're still that afraid of me I think we have more than a communication problem here, Kurt –"

"No! Not like that, no, honey," Kurt says frantically, squeezing Blaine's hand. He relaxes a little. "That's not what I mean at all. It just scares me how much you make me _feel. _Sometimes – god, it's like I can't even _breathe,_ you make me feel so many things. And it frightens me how much I want to do this, even after how wrong it went last time."

Blaine looks at him, and there's so much _hope _there in his eyes that Kurt aches to see it, can't bear the thought of taking it away again. It's now or nothing, because Kurt can't give this up.

He was right when he said that signing a piece of paper and putting on a ring wouldn't change how he feels about Blaine, but maybe it's not about that. Once upon a time, he had believed in having a fairy-tale life, marrying his Prince Charming and living happily ever after with him. He still wants to be the little boy who believed that. But the people in those stories were just that – people, complex and broken just like he and Blaine. They had issues that they had to get over, too.

So maybe it's not about fitting together perfectly – maybe it's just fitting together the best that you can, and never giving up even when it's hard.

That he knows how to do.

"You want this?" Blaine asks softly.

"So much."

There are already tears in Blaine's eyes. _This is happening. _"So…?"

"Marry me," Kurt breathes, just saying it himself taking a weight off his chest. And he's scared, still, of course, and that's okay. He was scared last time, too – every huge change in their lives frightens him, that's how it should be. That doesn't mean it isn't right. It's so very, very right.

"Yes!" Blaine surges forward, peppering Kurt's smiling lips with quick little kisses. "Marry me?"

"Yes, of course, yes." How could he have wanted anything else? Blaine slides the ring onto his finger, beautiful and a perfect fit, and Kurt can't help but laugh through his tears. "Yes, yes, yes…"

He would keep on saying it but Blaine takes Kurt's face in his hands and kisses him, open mouthed and sweet and too much teeth because they can't stop smiling. There's wetness against their pressed-together cheeks, but Kurt can't tell which of them is crying. It doesn't matter.

"Yes," he says again (he'll say it a million times, every day for the rest of his life, if Blaine wants) when Blaine pulls back barely an inch to breathe, warmth puffing over his lips and Blaine laughs and captures his lips again. It feels like Blaine is claiming him, saying _mine _with every soft brush of his tongue, and Kurt moans low in his throat and hopes that Blaine knows it means _yours._

"Yes," he whispers when Blaine presses him down into the mattress, smiling as they kiss and kiss and _kiss _until Kurt can't breathe or taste anything but Blaine, until their lips are swollen and sore.

"Yes," when Blaine undoes the first few buttons of Kurt's shirt to mouth at the skin there, "yes," when their hips slot together just so, hot pressure through their clothes not enough but still so _much. _

"Yes," moaned breathlessly between kisses as his hips roll up to meet Blaine's thrusts, wanting more, wanting bare hot skin under his hands_, _but no way is Kurt getting any level of naked in Rachel Berry's old bedroom, just, no.

They haven't done it like this since they were in college, and it's a little absurd but too good to want to stop, pressure building until it can't be contained a moment longer. He comes first without warning, with a choked off gasp and his back arching, hips jerking up to press closer to Blaine's. It's sticky and gross and he doesn't care at all.

"_Kurt,_" Blaine groans, eyes closed and head thrown back, too fucking gorgeous, and Kurt works a hand between them to press against the hard outline of Blaine's cock through his jeans, firm pressure as Blaine rides his hand, gasping out "Yes, yes, _yes," _until he comes just like that, hot and vaguely wet through his underwear and pants. Like they're a couple of fucking teenagers who can't control their own hormones.

It's so hot that Blaine still makes him feel that way.

"Oh my _god_," Kurt mumble minutes later, once he's finally able to form words. He throws his arm over his eyes and laughs, ridiculously scandalized. "We actually just did that." Blaine nuzzles his cheek into Kurt's chest and laughs. "In Rachel Berry's childhood bedroom, oh _god._"

"We've done weirder." Blaine wraps his fingers around Kurt's wrist and draws his arm away from his face, grinning with kiss-swollen lips more beautiful than the sun breaking across the horizon, the kind of smile where his whole face scrunches up because his joy can't be contained by just his mouth. Kurt clings to him and laughs until it hurts - the best kind of hurt.

It doesn't matter that he had his doubts, and still does (though he anticipates that Blaine will kiss them away soon enough.) If it makes Blaine smile like that Kurt will say yes every single day for the rest of their lives. _Happily-ever-after, _he thinks, holding his hand up to look at the ring on his finger, until Blaine takes the hand and kisses it, still smiling.

"No Elvis impersonators," Kurt says suddenly. Blaine ducks his head. "And we're not doing this in Vegas."

"Anything you want."

They make it back out to the party eventually, after getting themselves cleaned up as best as they can – though their hair is a lost cause, sticking up in all directions; Kurt can't bring himself to care. The girls crowd around him in an instant, of course, dragging him away from Blaine, Rachel grabbing his hand to get a closer look at the ring. "I knew it!" She shrieks, jumping up and down. "I knew this would happen!"

Puck still doesn't seem to be able to grasp the idea that they ever _weren't _together, but he pats Blaine on the back along with the rest of the guys. Everyone there is invited to the wedding right away, of course – _wedding, _because that's happening, holy _shit_ – and without question Rachel is Kurt's maid of honor and Santana Blaine's, while Finn is Kurt's groomsman.

Kurt doesn't miss the way Blaine falls for a moment – he doesn't really have a male friend close enough to be his groomsman anymore. It would have been Cooper last time, if Cooper had come to the wedding, but he hadn't and now, just like then, Blaine is left without. But the disappointment only lasts a second before Kurt catches his fiancée's eye – _fiancée, _he doesn't have to stumble over _boyfriend _or _partner _or other words that aren't quite right anymore, he knows exactly what they are and it's perfect. Blaine's smile brightens again, in that magical and _genuine _way that for a long time Kurt thought he would never see again. Blaine saved himself, but Kurt keeps him smiling.

Even though this still won't be perfect, _they _will never be perfect, Kurt grins back at him from across the room, because he knows that he and Blaine are and will be happy. Fairy tales are, after all, about overcoming impossible odds to find true love. So as he gushes with his girlfriends, and watches Blaine chat easily with the guys, and holds his ring up to the light to watch the way the sapphires glitter, he thinks they have this happily-ever-after thing down.


	3. three

**A/N: So sorry for the delay! Been so busy with school. Hope you like this!**

* * *

It's July 20th, which means Cooper Anderson knows his wife won't judge him for being a bit of a mess.

Correction: She never had before. Apparently this year is the exception to the rule. This year Savannah walks by and snatches Cooper's third glass of wine out of his hand on its way to his lips. "Hey," he protests, though weakly.

"Sharing is caring," she says sweetly, taking a sip of the wine. One year old Brandon, balanced on one of Savannah's curvy hips, makes a gurgling noise and tries to grab for the glass before she sets it carefully out of range. The baby settles for tugging on her long dreadlocked hair instead. "Cooper Anderson, you have work in the morning, you don't need a hangover."

"I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions," he says, sing-song. He's not actually upset that she took the drink away; she's right, after all. He'd just wanted something to make him stop thinking for a second. It's July 20th. All he wants is to be able to wish his little brother a happy birthday. And it's his own damn fault that he can't.

"Sure you can, babe." She sets their son down on his lap and sits down next to him on the couch. "Wanna talk about it?"

Cooper bounces Brandon up and down on his knee, making him giggle with the pure joy that only a baby can have. "About what?" He asks, avoiding Savannah's knowing gaze. She does know him, better than anyone else, and he can't hide from her.

"About what day it is. About your need to get drunk on this day. About the fact that it's been six years and no matter how miserable and guilty you are, you _still _haven't done anything about it."

He huffs. They've never spoken about this before; he doesn't know why it has to happen _now. _ "What do you want me to say? There's really nothing to talk about. It happened. It sucks. What do you want?"

"I want you to _talk _to him, Cooper."

He laughs at that, can't help it, even though Savannah's expression is dead serious. "Yeah, okay. What would I say to him, exactly? For that matter how would I _find _him?"

"Fuck off, I'm not figuring everything out for you."

"Yeah, yeah." He slumps back against the couch. Brandon starts climbing up his shoulders like a jungle gym, kneeing Cooper in the nose on his way up, until Savannah tugs him back down. "He won't want to see me."

"Are you scared of what he'll say, or what your parents will say?"

He doesn't even know how to answer that. Even when he's done everything his parents didn't want him to do with no real consequences – the stupid starving artist thing, moving in with the weird hippie chick he'd only been dating a few weeks, _marrying _her, which you might think would make them happier, marrying a woman, but apparently not – he's still scared of what they'll think. What they'll _do._ It's stupid, he knows that. They don't have any sort of hold over him, not anymore, not one that he hasn't put there himself. But he's still scared.

The one time he should have gone against their wishes and done the right thing, he had run away.

"Kurt might try to beat me up." He says, though that's the least of his worries.

"Good, you deserve it. He might knock a little sense into that thick skull of yours."

"I love you too, _sweetheart_. I'm so glad I chose such a kind, caring partner to share my life with."

"Oh please, like you had any choice." She plants a kiss right on his lips, which he returns greedily. For whatever reason, it makes Brandon laugh hysterically; their kids have the weirdest sense of humor. "Anyway, I think you'd look mighty handsome all roughed up."

"Oh really?" He might have to keep that in mind. He leans in to kiss her again – forget drinking, making out with his fucking gorgeous wife is the best distraction of all – but she puts a hand on his chest and stops him before he can.

"You've got a long weekend next week. Fly out to New York or wherever Blaine is."

He flinches at the abrupt change in subject. "Savannah."

"No arguments. I'll reserve the tickets for you if I have to."

"I can't," he says, throat going dry. "I can't, you know I can't, the things I said to him – "

"Exactly. You _have to fix this, _Coop, or it's going to keep eating at you forever." She brushes a loose lock of hair from his face, and Cooper lets his eyes drift shut for just a moment, leaning into the touch. "I hate seeing you this way, baby. At least try. What do you have to lose?"

"…you're still so much smarter than me, you know that?" He murmurs, twisting one of her dreadlocks around his finger. The beads she's woven into it clink together, and she smiles gently. She makes Cooper's heart melt every time he looks at her. He still has to pinch himself to believe this isn't a dream, sometimes, that no one will take her away from him.

She really deserves better.

"I know I am," Savannah says smugly, leaning in for another kiss. "That's why you married me."

Kurt can't exactly say he misses Blaine's family.

Of course, he wishes that they were still in the picture – he knows how much Blaine misses them, even now, and seeing Blaine sad for any reason? His first instinct is to fix it. But the sheer number of ways they hurt Blaine is enough to send Kurt into a rage even now. If they did have to spend time with them, even just during the holidays, Kurt thinks it would take every ounce of effort in him not to get in a fistfight with Blaine's father.

Cooper was always the exception. The most irritating man Kurt had ever met once he got over that brief crush, yes, but you had to love him anyway. He was like another brother to Kurt, until it actually mattered and then he had ended up as bad as the rest. Kurt still remembers the wedding and the look on Blaine's face as he looked out at the guests and not a single chair on his family's side of the room was filled. If even one person had come, if Cooper had stood beside Blaine like he should have, maybe it wouldn't have been so awful. But Cooper had turned out just as cowardly as Blaine's parents, and any affection Kurt had ever felt toward his brother-in-law disappeared when he saw the look of complete devastation on Blaine's face.

Six years later and no contact from any of them, Kurt doesn't really think about Cooper or the other Andersons anymore. There's no point. So he can't really be blamed when the text sends him into shock.

_555-6234: Hi, is this Kurt Hummel's number?_

_Kurt: Yes… who is this? _

He answers the text and then forgets about it, assuming that it's a client trying to get in touch about one of his designs. A few minutes later his phone buzzes again.

_555-6234: This is Cooper. Cooper Anderson. _

He gasps out loud, nearly dropping the phone, and Blaine looks up from his piano in the corner of the room, where he was trying to each Amelia a simple song. Mostly she bangs at it with her fists instead of trying to learn the notes, but Blaine praises her anyway. He raises his eyebrows. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah!" Kurt squeaks, eyes glued to the screen, heart pounding. Blaine shrugs and goes back to his lesson.

It's not possible. It can't actually be Cooper – Cooper who hasn't contacted them in _years, _hasn't even _tried. _Before he can reply the phone lights up with another text.

_Cooper: I'm sorry, I know this is weird. I found your number on facebook but I couldn't find Blaine's. Is he there? Could I talk to him?_

_Cooper: Kurt?_

_Kurt: He's not here at the moment. _

He doesn't know why he lies, but it's too much. He can hardly believe this is happening himself, and Blaine looks so happy right now, with Amelia on his lap, and he can't ruin it, _can't._

_Cooper: Ok could you give him my number or something?_

_Kurt: I don't know._

_Kurt: ...what the FUCK, Cooper._

_Cooper: I know._

_Kurt: No seriously. What the fuck do you think you're doing?_

_Cooper: I just want to talk to my brother._

_Kurt: It's been years. You haven't even tried to contact him once!_

_Cooper: I'm trying now._

_Cooper: I want to make things right._

_Cooper: Please let me talk to my brother_

_Kurt: No! _

_Cooper: Kurt_

_Kurt: NO. You don't get to do this to him, and you do not get to call him your brother when you haven't even tried to get in touch for six fucking years. _

He's a little shocked at how angry he is, stabbing at the screen his phone with his fingertips as he types out his reply. It's not unreasonable, after the things Cooper said all those years ago, the way Blaine had cried after his brother slammed the door in his face. He tries to calm himself down while he waits for another text, though he wouldn't be surprised if one never came. Kurt glances at Blaine, biting his lip as he considers showing Blaine the texts.

_Cooper: I'm sorry, ok?_

_Kurt: I don't care._

_Cooper: I'm trying to make this right! I'm sure if I just explain things it'll be ok_

_Kurt: I don't CARE._

_Cooper: What if I said I had plane tickets to New York?_

_Kurt: …what?_

_Cooper: You're still there, right? I want to see him. I really want to try to fix this. You have to believe me._

_Cooper: If I come, will you let me see Blaine?_

_Kurt: You're serious._

_Cooper: I give you full permission to punch me in the face when I get there._

_Kurt: Don't think I won't._

_Cooper: So is that a yes?_

_Kurt: I don't think I could stop you._

_Cooper: You won't regret it._

_Kurt: If you leave him again, if you hurt him, I will kill you._

_Cooper: I know you well enough not to take that lightly._

_Cooper: See you soon, Kurt_

_Kurt: Do you want me to tell him?_

_Cooper: No! If you do he won't let me come._

_Kurt: This is a bad idea, Cooper._

_Cooper: Never stopped me before!_

_Kurt: Asshole._

_Cooper: :D_

He doesn't send a reply, doesn't have anything to say, but he keeps going back to that smiley-face, staring at it like it might help him solve some mystery. It doesn't. He's just as confused as ever.

Later as they're getting ready for bed, Kurt can't hold it in anymore. To hell with what Cooper wants, he's not going to keep something like this from his fiancé. Cooper probably just wants to make some dramatic entrance, anyway.

"Blaine?" His voice trembles slightly, less confidant than he had hoped it would sound. Blaine finishes pulling on his pajamas and slips into bed, tugging Kurt close. Kurt closes his eyes for a moment, letting himself snuggle into the warmth of Blaine's arms, before he speaks again. "Cooper texted me today."

He doesn't look at Blaine's face, but he doesn't have to. He feels Blaine tense, tremble, and force himself to relax again. When Blaine doesn't reply Kurt goes on. "He wants to visit you."

"So?"

"That's it?" Kurt sits up to look at Blaine's expressionless face. "Blaine…"

"He won't come."

"But Blaine –"

"He won't. I know him." Blaine shuts his eyes tight. "I know that's he's a coward. And maybe he really does want to see me, but he won't _do _it."

Kurt bites his lip, watching Blaine's face. "But what if he does?"

Blaine shakes his head, turning so that his face is tucked into Kurt's neck. "It doesn't matter anymore. I don't need him. I don't need any of them. I'm okay with that."

He doesn't say that he knows Blaine is lying. They both know that. Part of him feels awful for opening up these old wounds – and they're barely healed even now – but letting Cooper show up completely unannounced could only be a bad idea. "You don't have to be okay," Kurt whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of Blaine's bushy hair. "Not around me."

Last week Blaine's birthday had come and gone, and like every year there was no contact from any member of Blaine's family. It wasn't even that they had expected differently. But still, they had hoped.

"I know." Blaine nuzzles closer, huffing out a warm breath against Kurt's neck. "I just don't want to talk about Cooper."

"I love you," Kurt says, just because sometimes there's nothing more he can do. Nothing he can offer but love. Blaine takes Kurt's hand from where it was curled around Blaine's shoulder, lifting it to his lips and kissing the ring on his finger.

"I love you," Blaine echoes. And that's all they need.

Three days later Kurt gets a text asking for directions to the apartment. He gives them, because he doesn't know what else to do. Cooper Anderson shows up at his door with an overnight bag in his hand, a smile planted on his infuriatingly handsome face.

"Kurtie!" He says, always too loud, and spreads his arms out wide. If it's an invitation for a hug, Kurt doesn't take it. "My favorite brother-in-law! Also my only brother-in-law. But still my favorite! How's it going, _bro_?"

Kurt doesn't punch him. He _does_ take one look at that shit-eating grin and steps in close as if to accept the hug, only to knee Cooper in the balls. He doesn't believe in violence, but god damn it's satisfying to watch Cooper double over in pain.

"Okay, yeah, I definitely deserved that," Cooper gasps out, voice an octave higher than usual. "_Ow. _"

"Come in and sit down," Kurt says. He's already exhausted and the ordeal hasn't even begun.

He stands up straight, with some effort. "Really? You won't regret it, I swear-"

"Shut up. I'm not doing this for you; I'm doing it for Blaine. He's, at work, should be back with Amelia soon."

"Amelia?" Cooper sits down slowly, wincing in pain, legs crossed like he expects Kurt to attack again.

"Our daughter." He gestures to the pictures lining the wall. "She's turning six soon."

Something in Cooper's expression goes soft when he looks at the photos. "Aw, wow. She looks just like Blaine! Can't believe my little bro is a dad."

"Whether or not Blaine is your _bro _remains to be seen," Kurt says coldly. Cooper's face falls, and he nods. "Can I get you anything? Coffee?" He glances down at Cooper's crossed legs, and still doesn't feel bad at all. "Ice pack?"

Cooper laughs sharply. "Coffee would be nice. Black, please."

Kurt nods and goes to the kitchen, watching the man who should have been his brother-in-law the entire time, as he stares around the tiny living room.

He looks... older, there's no nice way to put it. Not bad, he doesn't think it's possible for Cooper to look bad even if he tried, but definitely older. He can see the beginnings of a couple gray spots at the roots of his wavy hair. And he's nervous, being here, Kurt can see that written all over his face.

God. Cooper Anderson is sitting in his living room, looking at his family photos, trying to catch a glimpse of everything he missed in the past six years. It's so surreal that Kurt can barely believe it's happening.

"Blaine didn't think you'd come," Kurt says softly.

Cooper glances up, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. "I almost didn't. Savannah practically forced me onto the plane."

"Glad to know that you're so willing to see us."

"I didn't mean…" Cooper bites his lip. "I was scared. That's all. I don't know what to expect from this."

_That makes two of us. _Kurt finishes stirring the cream into his coffee and hands Cooper his own steaming mug before he sits down in the armchair across from the couch. "You're still with Savannah?" It's small talk, but everything important Cooper has to say is Blaine's business, not Kurt's.

Cooper laughs, long fingers curling around the mug of coffee. He breathes in the steam but doesn't drink yet. "Married her, actually." He lifts his hand and wiggles his fingers, the gold ring on his finger glinting in the light from the window.

Kurt raises his eyebrows. "Well, congratulations." Even though he's supposed to be angry at Cooper he can't help but smile at that. He doesn't know Savannah well, but he'd always liked her. Probably for the same reasons that Cooper originally had: because she was everything Mrs. Anderson despised. With her long dreadlocks and bohemian lifestyle and blatant refusal to wear a bra, not to mention the extensive feminist rants she tended to go on, she had driven Blaine and Cooper's mother insane. It was something Kurt could certainly relate to. "She's seemed like a nice girl."

"She's amazing." A dreamy look crosses Cooper's face before he shakes his head, discomfiture returning as he clears his throat. "How's… um, how has Blaine been?"

How much can he say? How much would Blaine want him to say? He doesn't want Cooper to say anything that could upset Blaine and ruin this, ruin another chance at a bit of happiness for Blaine. Kurt hesitates. "It's been… hard. Really hard. We're working our way through it, though. One step at a time. I guess there are a few things you ought to know before he gets here."

"Okay."

"Because I can't let you hurt him. He's fragile, he doesn't like to admit it to anyone but me but he is still so breakable and…" He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Kurt," Cooper says, so gentle that it makes Kurt blink his eyes open again. He so wants to trust the earnest look in Cooper's eyes, but he can't, not yet, not when he could still damage Blaine so badly. He can't let that happen. Blaine is his and he will _protect _him, after everything they've gone through there's _nothing_ he won't do. Cooper looks straight into Kurt's eyes when he speaks. "I'm not here to screw his life up again, okay? I won't even stick around if he doesn't want me, I just – I have to try. You know? Just… please, let me try."

Kurt bites his bottom lip until it hurts, and nods. "We broke up for a while."

"Seriously? _Why? _ You were always so solid."

"Until everything with your family happened." He doesn't hold back the venom in his tone. "He drank a lot. There were so many reasons, really. I always told myself that if – if he ever hurt me, I would end it. And, well." Kurt feels his face heat up in a blush, ashamed even though he knows it wasn't his fault.

Cooper stares at him. "He hit you."

"Only once. Just a slap. It was nothing, honestly."

"And you took him back? _Kurt –_"

"It's different now!" It sounds like a weak excuse but it's true, everything _is _different, but he doesn't know how to explain why it's different to anyone else. Not a day goes by that he doesn't worry about other people judging him for taking back someone who abused him. His family doesn't, thank god, they trust his judgment. But Rachel… she supports them, but he can tell she doesn't really understand. But it is different. It _is, _because he really _did _manage to save Blaine, make him better. He has to keep telling himself that. "I know how screwed up it is, but so was he. I've forgiven him. He'd never do it sober, and he _is _sober now. Don't you dare judge me, you have no idea –"

"Hey, whoa, I'm not judging you!" Cooper raises his hands in surrender. "I just never want to see you get hurt, Kurt. I still care about you guys, you know? I still worry. But I guess it's not my business."

"You're right, it's not." Kurt shakes his head. He really hadn't wanted to get into all of that, hopes Blaine won't be upset. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about them, in the end. "Anyway. I left him, I got Amelia, and he… tried to kill himself." He it says, softly, as if that will lessen the shock. God, but he still hates to say it, hates that it happened.

Cooper's eyes widen, breath catching. His hands tremble as he sets down his barely touched mug of coffee on the table in front of him. With his hands free he runs one of them through his hair. "Jesus." He whispers.

"He's been seeing a therapist for a while now, and he's on medication. He's better than he was. But it's been hard."

"If I had known –"

"What could you have done?" Kurt shakes his head. "The drinking got bad too, like I said, but that's over. He can't even drink with the meds he's taking now, so that helps. Just don't offer him a beer."

"Got it." Cooper's shoulders slump back. "Jesus," he repeats, "I had no idea."

"That's no one's fault but your own."

"I know that, but if I had been here… I'm so sorry. For that, and the things I said to you guys. I didn't mean it, you know, what I said."

"Yes you did."

"…okay. But I don't anymore."

"Do you think that actually helps? Or changes anything?" Kurt snaps.

"No. Still have to say it."

The sound of footsteps and voices outside interrupts them, Amelia's high pitched laugh and Blaine's deeper timbre. Kurt watches Cooper tense as the voices grow closer, eyes wide, _terrified. _Kurt realizes he can't completely hate this man.

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to," he says quietly. Blaine and Amelia are singing together at the top of their lungs –"_"There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o, B-I-N-G-O – " _and he can hear the smile in Blaine's voice. He hopes it lasts.

The door opens, and Kurt turns around to see his family stepping into the kitchen. Blaine is laughing while Amelia keeps on singing. "Honey, I'm home," he sings, and then looks into the living room. His face falls, eyes wide, mouth open in shock as he stares at the brother he hasn't spoken to in six years.

"_B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O and Bingo was his naaame-ooo… _Papa, sing with me!" She tugs on his arm, but goes silent when he sees the look on his face.

Cooper stands up slowly, smiling as best as he can. He's clearly terrified, shifting from foot to food and wringing his hands together, eyes wide, and unable to say a word. Blaine might as well be a statue. Amelia grows more worried, and Kurt stands up and goes to her, prying her off of Blaine. "Daddy, who's that?" She asks, too loudly.

"That's Papa's brother."

"Papa has a brother? Like you have Uncle Finn?"

"Sort of. Let's leave them alone now, okay, sweetheart?" He takes her hand and leads her away. Blaine's eyes meet his as he passes.

He's so _scared. _ Kurt pauses, searching Blaine's face, but it's not a panic attack. He knows what they look like well enough by now. He takes Blaine's hand and squeezes it. It's not much, but he can't offer anything else.

"_Kurt,_" he whispers.

"Talk to him. You'll be okay." He kisses Blaine gently on the lips, and as if she can tell how serious this is Amelia, for once, doesn't yell _ "Ew!" _and run away when they kiss.

_Please, let him be okay, _Kurt thinks, not sure who he's praying to.

For at least a minute Blaine just focuses on remembering how to breathe. Seeing Cooper standing in his living room made him forget. He's still just standing there, smile tentative and scared, older than the version of him in Blaine's head.

"Hey, Blainey," he says like he has a thousand times before. But it's different, this time. It's more like a question, like he's asking permission for something.

Blaine's throat feels like he swallowed sandpaper. He wets his lips. "Hi, Cooper," he whispers after too long a pause.

What does he say? What the fuck can he _possibly say? _He wants to scream and maybe cry a little and punch his brother and hug him and run away and hide, and he can't do a fucking thing but stand there frozen. He wishes Kurt had stayed, but he'd taken Amelia back to her room. He keeps unconsciously reaching for Kurt's hand but it's not there, and he doesn't know what to do without it. Which, when he thinks about it, is probably unhealthy, but he doesn't care. Kurt is the only thing that holds him together sometimes.

Cooper doesn't say anything, looks as dazed as Blaine feels. Slowly, he gathers up the courage to speak above a rasping whisper. "W-what are you doing here?"

"God, I'm not even sure I know." Cooper laughs under his breath. "I just. I miss you, Blainey."

_Don't call me that,_ _don't, I'm not your Blainey, I'm not your brother, you all but said that – _ "You _miss _me." He repeats, voice flat because if he doesn't keep it flat Cooper will hear how bad it's shaking.

"I – yeah. I do. I wanted to see you." Cooper shifts from one foot to the other, nervous.

"Why?"

Cooper blinks at him, and he looks like a confused puppy. "I – because –"

"Seriously, _why? _Why the fuck would you bother? Why _now?_" His voice rises with each word. "How can you just show up like this like nothing ever happened and expect me to just _welcome _you –"

"It's not like that, Blainey –"

"Don't _fucking _call me that!" Blaine shouts, fear and confusion dissipating and leaving behind only anger, and he really just wants to punch Cooper in the face but he can't make himself move.

Cooper falters, his eyes wide as he stares at Blaine. "I - I'm _sorry, _" he says, voice breaking. "I'm _so_ sorry, I was an idiot and I was scared, but I'm trying to make it right now, if you'll please just give me a chance…" He stops, waiting for Blaine to reply. When he doesn't, Cooper closes his eyes and looks down at the floor, taking a deep breath. "Okay," he says shakily, and starts toward the door.

"Coop."

He turns around immediately, before Blaine is even aware of speaking, so full of hope that Blaine can't do anything else even though he knows what a terrible idea this is. He flexes his hands, makes himself breathe deep. "Don't go," Blaine whispers.

Cooper smiles, or tries to. "Thank you," he says, a little breathless and sounding so grateful. And _quiet. _ That, somehow, makes Blaine sure that he means it. If Cooper were faking it Blaine knows he would be shouting to make up for the lie. Cooper sinks back down onto the couch cushions, and after a moment of hesitation Blaine sits next to him. His whole body feels tense, torn between fight or flight – every instinct is screaming for flight, god he wishes Kurt was holding his hand right now – but he forces himself to sit there, next to his brother.

"Just give me a chance to explain, okay?" Cooper tries to meet Blaine's eyes. "And if you want me to go I'll never bother you again. But if I don't at least try to fix this I think I'll go insane."

Blaine stares down at his hands and doesn't reply. He catches himself scratching and picking at the crescent shaped scars on his palms before he clenches his fists and forces himself to stop. "Okay," he says quietly. "Go ahead. Explain to me why the one time I really needed you on my side, you abandoned me. Why you care about what our asshole parents think more than you care about your own brother."

"I was an idiot," Cooper repeats. "Okay? I fully admit that. I… I tried to talk sense into them, you know? And maybe Mom would have listened but not with Dad being the way he was, you know how scared she is of him. I tried to tell them how stupid they were being. It just pissed dad off even more.

"I… I've never really done anything on my own." Blaine looks up at that, confused, wondering where this is headed. Cooper keeps looking straight ahead as he speaks, like he might lose his nerve if he looks at Blaine. "I wanted to be an actor and do that whole Hollywood thing, but I was only able to do it because mom and dad had enough money to pay for everything." He laughs bitterly. "Me and Savannah were really getting serious, I wanted to be able to do the right thing, be able to support her. Make her happy. I loved her so much, you know? Well, I still love her."

"I don't understand," Blaine says quietly.

"I tried to tell dad what an idiot he was being, that you should be able to marry whoever the hell you want – and I still believe that, Blaine, I _do _– and he – he got so _mad _and he basically said if I was going to support you he'd cut me off. I wasn't getting any parts, no one would hire me, I didn't have _anything _but what they handed me on a silver platter_. _I didn't know what else to do!"

"Cooper –"

"I never wanted things to turn out the way they did, Blaine, you have to believe me, but – I just thought if I could convince you not to marry Kurt so soon, maybe the whole mess would be over. Maybe we could forget it all and be a family again. And, I don't know, maybe it could buy me some time to get my shit together before they abandoned me, too. The fact that they could do that to you scared me so much."

Blaine slumps back, heart pounding, ears ringing. After all these years he finally knows what had led to Cooper saying such awful and unprecedented things, to the screaming match that ended in Cooper slamming the door in Blaine's face without so much as a goodbye. To Blaine crying in Kurt's arms harder than he ever had after being disowned, and Kurt crying along with him. His parents had always been distant; Cooper was the closest family he had, until that moment.

Understanding it doesn't make Blaine feel any less sick. He curls in on himself in the corner of the couch, making himself smaller, though he doesn't know what that's supposed to accomplish. Being small makes him feel safer, he supposes. "Jesus, Cooper," he whispers.

"I know, okay, I know how wrong it was." Cooper finally turns to him, eyes glistening. He'd never been able to stage cry no matter how much he practiced. They're real tears and they feel like a punch to Blaine's gut. "By the time I got up the nerve to stand up to them, to make things right with you… well…" He runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "I kinda… knocked Savannah up."

Blaine blinks. "You _what?" _

"It sounds awful, doesn't it? I mean, we weren't unhappy about it, just not really _ready, _you know? So I had to marry her, didn't I? Not that I didn't want to, but, you know, not ready. I needed to take care of her and the baby. I needed all I could get from mom and dad, and if they actually cut me off – I don't know if they would have but I couldn't risk it, I couldn't. So. That's why I never came back and fixed things with you. Too fucking scared, even now." Cooper slumps back, sighing heavily as he looks at Blaine. "But that's still not a good excuse. Anyway, I _did _use what they gave me in the end. I went back to school. I'm a nurse now."

"Seriously? You didn't keep acting?" He'll never admit that he used to keep an eye out for Cooper on TV sometimes. He thought he caught a glimpse of him as a dead body on _C.S.I. _ once, but the victim's face was disfigured by stab wounds so he couldn't really tell.

"Yeah – I don't know if you noticed this, but I wasn't a very good actor," Cooper says, a trace of regret in his voice.

"I never noticed," Blaine lies.

"It's great because I make enough money to take care of the kids and _still _get to piss Dad off because he thinks it's a woman's job." Cooper shakes his head. "My point being that you can't blame it all on Mom and Dad. After a while it was just me being a moron. Luckily Savannah is smarter than me."

He's still focused on the _Cooper has a kid _thing, but he shoves that aside for now. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say to this."

"Nothing. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just needed to explain, and apologize. Because I _am _sorry, Blainey, I – I wish I had been there for you."

Something clicks into place in Blaine's mind, and he sighs. "How much did Kurt tell you?"

"Blaine…"

"How much?"

"Why you broke up. That you…tried."

"Great." It wasn't exactly information he threw around. He absently fiddles with the cuff of his button-up shirt, tight around his wrists. He always keeps the sleeves down and buttoned tight, never rolled up, to hide the scars crisscrossing his skin. He doesn't know how Cooper would react to seeing them, and he doesn't want to find out.

"He didn't mean anything by it, Blainey. He just didn't want me to accidentally say anything to upset you, I think."

_Right, because I'm so fragile I still need him to protect me. _Mostly he hates that it's true, but he can't be mad at Kurt for that. "He took care of me, you know?" Blaine stares down at the couch cushions, picking at a loose thread. He can't really blame Kurt for telling Cooper, knows that Kurt's heart was in the right place. That doesn't stop it being uncomfortable. "He didn't have to; by all rights he should have left me to die, after everything I put him through. But he was the only one there to take care of me. So he did." His throat and eyes burn and he squeezes his eyes shut against the threatening tears.

Cooper remains silent, and Blaine takes a deep breath and goes on, not sure why he's even talking, why he hasn't kicked Cooper out yet. It's what he deserves. "I don't regret it at all, these past months with him. Even when I didn't want him to, he _saved_ me, and we're stronger than ever this time around. So it was good that he was there." He finally opens his eyes, but he can't look at Cooper, _can't. _"But that doesn't change the fact that you should have been there, Cooper. You should have been the first one the hospital called, not my ex-husband."

"I know, I _know._"

"I needed you. I _needed my brother_." His voice cracks and he closes his eyes, sucking in a deep breath. "I thought I would die without ever seeing you again."

"And if I had known I would have been there in a heartbeat, I _swear." _Cooper scoots closer, and there's nowhere for Blaine to hide. He starts to put a hand on Blaine's shoulder, but Blaine flinches back and he pulls away. "I had no idea you were so…" He trails off.

"Fucked up?" Blaine supplies.

"Well, not in so many words, but..."

He doesn't tell Cooper about how worthless he had felt, how the whole mess had make him believe he really deserved to be tossed aside. From the look in Cooper's eyes, too sincere to be an act because Cooper was always awful at dramatic scenes anyway, Blaine can tell he already knows.

"I'm still stuck on you being a _dad, _" he says after a moment. He's an uncle and he never even knew. How fucked up is _that? _

A smile spreads slowly across Cooper's face, and he throws his head back and laughs. It's probably out of relief more than anything else. "I _know, _right? I still can't believe it! Here, look." He digs his wallet out of his pocket and pulls a couple folded slips of paper out, passing them to Blaine. The first a family photo, Cooper with his arm around Savannah – and the fact that she actually _married _him boggles Blaine's mind – and two little boys, the oldest on Cooper's lap, the baby on Savannah's. He's an uncle _twice _and he never knew.

"That's Everett, and that's Brandon," Cooper says, pointing to each boy in the picture. Everett, probably a little older than Amelia, is grinning from ear to ear, one of his front teeth missing, while Cooper points at him enthusiastically. Brandon, though he can't be more than a year old, stares at his brother with a judgmental look that could rival Kurt's. Savannah looks wonderful; a little curvier around the waist than Blaine remembers, and tired – who wouldn't be with two of _Cooper's _children to keep track of – but she's obviously happy, practically glowing. That's good. He always liked her, though he can't really imagine her married to Cooper.

The second is just Cooper and Everett, both pointing their fingers at the camera and posing dramatically. Blaine covers his mouth to hide a laugh as he passes the photos back to Cooper. "Wow," he says, not sure what more he can say. "Congratulations, Coop."

"You too, little bro. That's one adorable girl you've got there. Amelia, right? After Grandma?"

Blaine nods. Their grandmother on their mother's side was one of the only members of their extended family Blaine had ever been close to, before she passed away when he was thirteen. "Amelia Elizabeth Hummel. After Kurt's mom."

"That's awesome. And nice to see you're passing on the Anderson genes."

"Not sure being an Anderson is something to be so proud of." He hadn't mentioned it to Kurt yet – he's been in a wedding-planning frenzy since Blaine proposed and Blaine doesn't want to distract him with something so trivial – but he plans to drop the –Anderson in his last name when they re-tie the knot. There's no point in claiming to be an Anderson when he's not – and he's been part of the Hummel family since he first realized he loved Kurt.

Cooper bites his lip. "I can see why you'd think so."

The silence turns awkward, but there's nothing to say. Cooper, who Blaine has never known to let a moment go withouttalking, just looks down at his lap, brow furrowed, shoulders hunched. Blaine can't decide if he feels bad about Cooper's discomfort or just vindictive, but if it's the latter then it only lasts a moment before he feels ashamed.

"Is this a mistake, Blainey?" Cooper asks after a while, finally looking back up at Blaine. Wide-eyed and honest, and afraid. Blaine wants to be angry at that – if anyone deserves to be scared it's _him – _but he can't. He can't tell what he's feeling at all, really, other than overwhelmed. He wishes Coop would stop calling him _Blainey. _

"I don't know," he says, mouth dry.

"Because if it is, I'll go. If you don't want to see me again, I'll leave you alone. But I'd like to try to be a part of your life again, if it's not too late. Give me a chance to be the brother I should have been."

Blaine doesn't answer, doesn't remember how to form words; it's all just too much. He'd never thought he'd see his big brother again and now he's _here. _Here in his living room, back in the middle of his messily patched together life – different, older and quieter and a whole new person in a lot of ways, but in others the same obnoxious man Blaine used to know. The same big brother who had criticized his every move and pushed him to be bigger and better. Who had stolen his toys. Who had sat by his bed in the hospital when their parents couldn't be bothered, and held his hand while he cried; the only kindness in a world that didn't seem worth living in if there were people out there who would beat a fourteen year old boy half to death.

The brother who had sided with parents who didn't want to be his parents anymore, told him not to marry the love of his life, and left without saying goodbye. The brother who's trying to make it right but doesn't know how.

His silence must be enough of an answer for Coop, because he smiles, tight and forced, before standing up. "It's getting late," he says flatly, not meeting Blaine's eyes.

"No it isn't."

"I should probably go find a hotel."

Blaine swallows. "You don't have to find a hotel." Cooper's eyes flick up to meet Blaine's, wary but hopeful. "We have a guest room – well, Kurt's office really, but there's a bed. It's not much, but. If you want it."

"Yeah?"

He should say no. He should tell Cooper to get out. He should have more self-respect than this, but god, his family has been taken away from him so many times. How can he let Cooper walk away again if they have a chance to fix things?

"I don't think I can ever forget what happened," Blaine says carefully. Cooper nods, expression guarded. "I don't think I _should. _But… getting a second chance with Kurt kind of made me realize that maybe you can forgive without forgetting. Maybe that's how it should be, actually."

"That's _so_ much more than I hoped for," Cooper says. Blaine laughs, can't help it (god he loves the times when he can't _help _but be happy, he'll never take them for granted), it comes out quick and sudden and it makes Coop laugh too. "Come here, little bro." He holds out his arms.

Blaine goes to him without a second's hesitation, arms flung around each other, swaying a little, one of those bear hugs that only Cooper can give. He still feels ridiculously short compared to Cooper, a little squashed by his stronger arms, and not for the first time he wonders if it's normal to hold onto your brother for quite this long, but he doesn't _care. _He never thought he'd get to hug his brother again. "Are you remembering this emotion to use in a scene one day?" Blaine mumbles into the fabric of Cooper's t-shirt. Cooper laughs shakily and steps back, one hand still on Blaine's shoulder, and Blaine pointedly pretends that he doesn't see him wipe away a tear.

"Well, you never know, right?" Cooper squeezes Blaine's shoulder once before letting his hand drop back to his side. "I'm not gonna let you down this time, Blainey. I've missed so much. Not again. Okay?"

"Okay," Blaine says, voice wavering, overwhelmed. "I missed you too, Cooper."

"Daddy, I wanna meet Uncle Cooper!"

The brothers startle, turning toward the hallway where Kurt is peeking around the corner with a blush on his cheeks, holding Amelia back as she tries to escape to the living room. "Still eavesdropping?" Blaine asks teasingly. He takes one last shaky breath to make sure he's not still in danger of crying.

"It's a hard habit to beat." Kurt winks and lets go of the back of Amelia's t-shirt. She goes to Blaine, reaching for his hand as she stares up at Cooper, suddenly shy. "She hasn't stopped asking about you since she walked in the door," he explains to Cooper.

Cooper kneels down to eye-level in front of her, an easy grin on his face. "Hey, squirt," he says, and Blaine rolls his eyes. "You must be Amelia."

"Uh-huh. I'm five-and-a-half," she says proudly.

"Wow. My son is six. He's your cousin."

"I have a cousin?"

"Two cousins! But the other one is still a little baby."

"Can I play with them?"

"Well, we live pretty far away, but maybe we'll come up for a visit."

"Just move here! It's better!"

Blaine tunes out of the conversation a little when Kurt walks up, hugging Blaine tight from behind. He turns a little and buries his face into Kurt's neck, breath shuddering out of him. Kurt's hands come up to stroke down his spine. "Hey, hey," he whispers in Blaine's ear.

"Sorry," Blaine mumbles, not even sure what he's apologizing for.

"Don't be. Are you okay? Did I do the right thing? If I didn't –"

"Yeah. Yes." He twists his neck to look back at Cooper. He's laughing genuinely at something Amelia says, and she's obviously in love with him already. Blaine smiles because he can't help it. He has his brother back. Amelia finally gets to meet someone from her family – something Blaine thought would never happen, and therefore he never told her about them. Somehow, after everything he's gone through in the past seven years, things are finally getting pieced back together. It's not perfect. It probably never will be.

But it's getting there.

"Thank you," Blaine whispers, closing his eyes. Kurt relaxes and kisses the top of Blaine's head, squeezing him tight.

The quiet doesn't last long. "Group hug!" Cooper shouts without warning, making Blaine jump as his long arms wrap around the two of them, squishing them together so that Blaine's nose is kind of smushed into Kurt's collarbone. Amelia jumps in, too, hugging around Blaine's legs. They grumble, but neither of them resists it. And Cooper really does give the best hugs.

Not for the first time recently and not for the last, his life has gotten turned upside down. Blaine wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
